


Accountant on Board

by celli



Category: Stargate: Atlantis
Genre: Gen, taxfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-07
Updated: 2005-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-15 04:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/845132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celli/pseuds/celli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No, I doubt that among the weapons specialists, linguists, and engineers, Elizabeth thought to slip in a CPA." Takes place shortly before the events of Episode 2.2, "The Intruder" and includes spoilers through that episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accountant on Board

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ilexa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilexa/gifts), [out_there](https://archiveofourown.org/users/out_there/gifts).



> A dual birthday present for [](http://ilexa.livejournal.com/profile)[**ilexa**](http://ilexa.livejournal.com/) and [](http://out-there.livejournal.com/profile)[**out_there**](http://out-there.livejournal.com/). Thanks to [](http://butterflykiki.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://butterflykiki.livejournal.com/)**butterflykiki** for the beta.

Along with the fun stuff they brought back on the Daedalus--mail from family, a zillion DVDs, and tons of what John called "scientist porn," back issues of every science journal known to man--was something not quite as pleasant.

"Oh, hell," John said, staring at an envelope that read "Defense Finance and Accounting Service."

"What?" Rodney looked up from his reading. "Oh, tax stuff. I bet mine's in here somewhere."

John was still looking at the envelope as if it held a jury summons. "We don't have any accountants on board, do we?"

"No, I doubt that among the weapons specialists, linguists, and engineers, Elizabeth thought to slip in a CPA. Why? Wait. You don't know how to do your own taxes?"

"No," John said in a small voice.

"You're a lieutenant colonel in the United States Air Force. You have what passes for an above-average education in your country. And you don't know how to do your own taxes."

"I take it to one of those places. You know."

Rodney stared at him. John gestured wildly. "You know. One of those places."

"A hula school?" Rodney snickered.

"Only you think you're funny. A tax place, dammit."

"I can't believe you trust other people with your taxes."

"And you don't?"

"Of course not. I do my own Canadian and US taxes every year. I bet you let other people handle your investments for you too."

"Um," John said with a frighteningly blank look.

"Wait, I don't want to know."

They both stopped talking. Rodney went back to his laptop. John went back to staring at the W-2.

"Rodney--"

"No."

"But--"

"No."

"You don't even--"

"I'm not doing your taxes for you."

"Well, then, when they audit me and come to, whatever, garnish my puddlejumper, you'll be sorry."

"Colonel."

"I'm just saying."

"Oh, give me that." Rodney ripped the envelope out of John's hands. "Let me--oh, for the love of Einstein's theories."

"What?"

"Look at this! It's all combat pay!"

"So?"

"Combat pay isn't taxable."

"It's not?"

Rodney looked around for something to throw at John. Unfortunately, they were on a spaceship, so almost everything was bolted down and the rest belonged to him. "No. It's not," he said, very distinctly.

"Oh. Cool." John beamed, then looked over, startled. "Rodney...you didn't just growl at me, did you?"

**Author's Note:**

> Podfic available at the Audiofic Archive: http://www.audiofic.jinjurly.com/accountant-on-board


End file.
